I can’t be the only person who has had enough of luxury goods being watered down to the point of uselessness in order to be turned into low cost plastic packaged consumer shit. I don’t believe that this is my being an elitist snob [though I probably am] I’m actually trying to comment on how pointless the whole process is. The epitome of what I’m talking about is the Costco platter of prawns. Prawns are awesome, especially the mutant sized lobstery ones. Go visit somewhere near the sea and buy some real ones, fucking brilliant aren’t they?
Now try the Costco ones, they look like prawns pink and everything, but when you actually sink your teeth into one they seem to be constructed from a strange rubbery paste. At least they don’t taste of rubber, but then they don’t taste of anything at all. In these ‘platters’ [the word seems to evoke embassy banquets rather more than limp dead sea-creatures] the prawns seem to have been reduced to the role of tortilla chips, they don’t taste of anything so some suspicious looking red sauce was included as an afterthought for you to dip the things into.
Now this might seem a little too close to Michael’s rant against the Angus ‘Burger’ from McDonalds, and though I’m not past a bit of plagiarism my point is something different entirely. The idea of luxury goods is that they are, well, a luxury. If somebody invents a new way of producing Beluga Caviar at $.99 a can and it doesn’t involve the immediate killing of every fish in the Black Sea then I’m all for it, but I’d be a good deal less enthusiastic if Superstore suddenly launched ‘President’s Choice Caviar Style Jello Nuggets.’
Why do so many people prefer a fake, pre-packaged version of ‘the high life’ to simply buying something that is inexpensive and nice?
I’ve also noticed that fat people do the same thing. They prefer roast chicken that has been bombarded with helium nuclei [or something] to remove any trace of fat or flavour, to say sushi or most Mediterranean food or pretty much anything which is naturally low in fat and doesn’t taste like shit.
I’m not wholly against all shitty plastic goods either; I wouldn’t be able to afford stuff like a freezer or a washing machine if it wasn’t for mass manufacturing. My point is that cheap stuff made by faceless companies is fine, up to a point; but some things can’t be mass manufactured without spoiling them completely. Sometimes it’s better to have the real thing on special occasions, rather than a cheap imitation every day.
