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Ukraine makes 100

It was an especially proud day in the Ukraine. Today it was tallied that exactly 100 black people are now officially living in the Ukraine. The 100th black person was spotted in line at a cafeteria in downtown Kiev. Completely unaware of his pending significance, the Blackman stood inline for perogies, as people crowded around. Many onlookers got onto their cell phones to take pictures and others, to call the officials.

When asked how he felt about being number 100, the new Blackman, Jerome Jackson, originally from Texas, stated, “ It was a nice welcome. Ukraine is always happy to welcome outcasts from the rest of the World since they know what it’s like, first hand, to be the underdogs. ”

The last black person counted for in the Ukraine was, Talika Jones, 35, who moved to Ukraine back in 2005. A new black person hadn’t been spotted since, but, fret no more, Ukraine, you’ve made it to 100, yo.

Now with all the black people in Ukraine, Russia is reported to be a bit more “intimidated,” after the Country was informed of the new Black man in Keiv. “Maybe Russia will stop cutting off our energy and gas supply and stealing all of our athletes for their Olympic team for Vancouver 2010, ” commented Olesia Fodchuk, a popular news reporter. All Ukrainian people have to say is, “keep the black people coming. For once, finally, we are feared.”

Top Ten reasons why Canada still has a small population.

10 – As soon as they hear about Regina, all of the Christian immigrants turn around.

9 – All of the cool people leave, ei Celine Dion, Avril Levine, Michael Buble… No no no, those artist still live here, I’m saying the cool people leave because of them. Hahaha because of them.

8 – People are still convinced we live in igloos. And if Global Warming is true, we are fucked. I know I spent many hours building my igloo and skinning a bear for my jacket, so I’m a bit pissed about Global Warming. All of those hours….

7 – Our big brother (America) takes all of the chicks.

6 – Sure the beaver might be on the coin, but the kind of beavers you guys are all thinking about, costs too much coin.

5 – Not everybody can pull off plaid.

4 – It’s multicultural, and I know there are still lots of rascists out there. Well, obviously.

3 – Canadian Television. Even when I get really high and baked, it’s still dumb. Basically, I’m very embarrassed by it.

2 – No nap time. You know, it’s cold. And it takes up a lot of my energy to keep warm. Who doesn’t like naps? The Canadian Government, that’s who.

1 – and the #1 reason why nobody moves to Canada is : something about the Government not letting people in. Maybe because of inflation or no jobs? I just threw that out there. But They have some law that keeps people outta Canada even though like Japan and Iran are like building upwards and it’s getting ridiculous and people are dying because lack of space and heat and desease, and places like Saskatoon have like 30 people. Isn’t there still a radiation problem in Chernobyl? Those people need help. And don’t get me started about the Africans. Let’s not even go there. And what with World Vision being like 98% profit, will those Africans ever be fed?

Maybe the real problem has to do with birth control and that’s something the Government should take care of when the baby is in the womb….. like home abortion kits or something. Maybe if there wasn’t a war on drugs, and if all of us did cocaine or meth or heroin, that would kill the baby, or make a lot of us infertile. And well, kill some of us off in our latter years.

Maybe the government wants over population. And then one day BOOM! The Illuminate will kill us all and that will be totally baddass on their part.

But, for now, I do like my fresh air and space, so, lock up them doors, Jean Chrietian… or whoever is in “power” right now, I like my job and I like my disease free body. No time to heal the world Michael Jackson. I guess there is no time.